IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU. When And How To Break Up With Your Problem Clients
“Listen, I know we’ve been together for a while now, but I think we need to talk…”
…Is something you might want to say if you’ve got a client that you absolutely dread working with. Hear me out, at the end of the day, relationships with clients are just that: relationships. And just like with any romantic relationship, sometimes you realize that the love is gone and that it might be time for a split. But similarly to navigating a romantic breakup it can be difficult to know when the right time is to call it quits, and how to let them down easy without causing pain and suffering for both parties.
THE FEARS
There are a lot of reasons it may be difficult to decide to break up with a client, especially one you’ve been with for a long time. Maybe they’ve been with you from the beginning and supported you when you were very first starting out. Maybe you’ve formed a friendship with them. Maybe they know a lot of people who you’d like to potentially work with someday and you don’t want to get a reputation as someone who is difficult to work with. The fact is, breakups can be scary! But staying with them might end up hurting you (and your business,) even more in the long run. Let’s talk about some common red flags that might be signaling that you need to break up with your client.
SIGNS THAT IT’S TIME FOR A SPLIT
-If you see their name pop up on your email or phone and you immediately are filled with dread (or you’re blood pressure goes up, or you utter an audible groan, etc.)
-If they can no longer afford you but you’re still offering them your old, lower rates out of a feeling of guilt.
-If they’ve repeatedly failed to respect your boundaries (mainly your time.)
-If getting this client to pay you onetime (or at all,) feels like pulling teeth each time.
-If the type of work you did for them just isn’t what you’re interested in anymore.
-If communication is a struggle (your styles are different or you always have to really dig to get clear info from them.)
-If they’re simply too needy or emotionally involved.
-If you’re embarrassed being associated with them and not proud of the work they’re having you create.
are more reasons than these, but this is a good start. If you’re feeling any of these (or several of these,) it’s probably time to say goodbye.
And let’s be super clear, just because you’re breaking up with a client does NOT mean they’re necessarily a bad person, or that it wasn’t a good relationship with you started, it just means that you’re no longer compatible. I’ll always be super grateful for some of the businesses who hired me when I was a little baby freelancer and who helped me get my start, but as my skills have improved, and I’ve become more selective about doing work that is meaningful to me, and that can help me reach my financial goals, I’ve had to stop working with many of those early clients. But we’re still friends! Believe it or not, a breakup doesn’t have to be painful
BEST BREAK UP PRACTICES for clients you don’t want to work with anymore but who are decent people…
GO INTO THE BREAKUP WITH AN UPBEAT, POSITIVE ATTITUDE. Even if they are the problem, you can let them down easy. I always try to frame it as a good thing for both parties! We had our time, and it was wonderful, but now it’s time for me to move on to bigger brighter things. If it’s a client that you’ve outgrown, but still a good person, chances are they might be a bit sad but they’ll also be happy for you.
EXPRESS GRATITUDE Whether you actually enjoyed working with them or not, express your gratitude! At the end of the day, they still hired you, which means they believed in you. Tell them that you were grateful for the time you were able to work together.
THEM A KIND REASON. If they are a good person, but just not a good fit for you, the best reason you can give is that “you’re shifting the focus of the projects you’re taking” and that you simply don’t have time to work with them anymore. Your client may be a little sad, but ultimately will probably be happy for you.
OFFER THREM A GREAT ALTERNATIVE. Especially if there’s nothing wrong with the client, you’ve just outgrown them, refer them to another designer! I do this all the time for clients who I still love and respect but who simply don’t have the budget for the work I do now. This can also be a great way to help out other designers who are newer and are looking for experience. This also is a nice way to show that you still care about them and want them to be taken care of, even if you can’t be the one to take care of them anymore.
STAY IN TOUCH. It doesn’t have to be weird. If it makes sense, still send them a Christmas card, or go up and talk to them at networking events. Just because you’re not working with them now doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. I have clients who I no longer work with who still are great sources for referrals and who are still my friends.
Sometimes a breakup is needed because you’ve outgrown the relationship. Other times a breakup is necessary because your client is…we… a horrible person. If a client is dishonest, disrespectful or downright shady, sometimes you need to be a bit more firm in your tactics.
BEST BREAK UP PRACTICES for clients you don’t want to work with anymore who are bad people…
BE BRUTALLY HONEST. If a client straight up toxic, tell them so. Be clear that you’re not going to put up with that kind of behavior anymore. It might seem easier to just ghost them, but the reason I’m a bigger fan of this option is because you might be saving some other poor designer or artist in the future. On rare occasions, clients have no idea that their behavior is bad, and if nobody ever tells them, they’ll never learn. You can’t fix everyone, but in some rare occasions, people really can change. And even if you won’t work with them anymore, you might be doing someone else a favor down the line.
GHOST THEM. I get it, confrontation isn’t for everyone, and if you absolutely cannot bear to face your horrible client, then you can result to ghosting tactics. However, I don’t recommend this option because it can make YOU come across as shady, unresponsive or unreliable. If they’re sending you emails and you’re just not responding you might get a reputation in the industry of being difficult to work with or flakey. I think rather than ghosting anyone, it’s better to clearly just say “thanks but no thanks.”
WAIT BABY, CAN WE MAKE IT WORK?
In some cases, you may want to salvage the relationship rather than cutting things off completely. If you’re on the fence about wether or not to break up, I recommend asking yourself these questions:
-Would you still be wiling to do the work if you were paid more?
-Would you still be willing to do the work if they started paying up front?
-Would you still be willing to do the work if they agreed to respect your boundaries? (Example: leave you alone on weekends and promised not to text your personal number?)
In short, would you agree to work with them if you re-evaluated the contract? Or is there a fundamental deeper issue here?
I’ve had clients who I’ve been able to re-negotiate contracts with, and now we’re in a happy, healthy client-freelancer relationship. I’ve had other clients who I would NEVER work with again for any amount of money. You have to decide what you’re willing to put up with.
DON’T BE SO FOCUSED ON THE PAST THAT YOU FORGET ABOUT THE FUTURE.
Nobody wants to feel like a jerk, but guess what? You’re never going to be able to have time to work with your dream clients on work that you love if you’re spending all your time and energy on clients who you’ve outgrown. There ARE wonderful amazing clients out there, and great opportunities, but you won’t find them unless you’re willing to move on. We all want what’s best for you babe.
Have you ever had to break up with a client before? What was the reason? How did it go? What questions do you have on this topic? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below!